"I say tomato..."

Dear Fauxllowers:

I am sorry it has been so long since my last post. And because honesty and self-flagellation are part of having it all, I admit I simply haven't been trying hard enough. 

Apologies aside, I took my two little ones to farm-sit for my brother and sister-in-law while they were away for my nephew's wedding. One thing to remember, ladies, is this: "Having it all means giving it all." That is why I packed up the kids and headed four hours north for a week-long stay in my brother's lovely home...with three dogs, four or five cats (I was never quite sure how many there actually were), 20 plus chickens, and some shaggy horned things they called cows but that looked more like yaks. While I was there I also made some necessary changes to their household, in particular to their chicken coop...but proper poultry husbandry is better left to another post.

So, because I was busy "giving it all" on behalf of my brother's animal kingdom, I was left with little time to write...this put me, a woman who has it all, in quite a conundrum because since I have it all, I must also give it all, which means there is nothing left over once I am done giving, and I have to start all over again trying to have it all. Ever heard of Sisyphus?

(This isn't Sisyphus but I think this is probably what he looked like after having to roll that damned rock up the mountain for eternity. Happy Wednesday.)

"You say tomato, I say tomato, let's call the whole thing sauce!"

Our local CSA, Flying Plow Farm, generously donated 3 bushels of tomatoes to me in exchange for my providing the farmers, Sarah and Tom, with salsas and sauces. Being able to can is an integral part to having it all. And though it is hot, steamy work, the rewards are myriad:

• you provide your family with food that is free of preservatives and additives
• you support local agriculture
• you sweat so profusely that you can skip the gym, and
• you encourage (shame) others into following your example.

Canning tomatoes is easy but unpleasant. Still, the reward of knowing your family is eating homemade food, plus the "encouragement" you give other women to try and have it all, too, makes it a worthwhile endeavor.

 To ensure that your canning experience goes smoothly, or at least pleasantly, make sure you start with the proper equipment:

Melissa's Watermelon Mojito

Ingredients:

rum (white, any type)

watermelon (preferably from your own garden)

fresh mint (again, from your own garden--any type)

lime

soda water

simple syrup (1:1 sugar and water)

crushed ice

more rum

Directions

Muddle lime, rum, mint, and simple syrup (to your taste) with a mortar and pestle. Muddle this until your hand hurts. Make sure the mint liquid has turned pale green so the mint flavor is well established. Add a small amount of watermelon and muddle. Fill a large glass with crushed ice, pour the mixture over the ice, fill with soda water, and shake gently. Add more rum and simple syrup as needed. I also add a little more lime to tamp the smell of alcohol on my breath.

On to the canning...

The first step to canning is to get the tomatoes. I suggest purchasing "seconds." Seconds are tomatoes (or any other produce) that are perfectly good but are not pretty enough to sell. Here are my seconds from Flying Plow Farm:

Canning equipment:

• lids, rims, and quart or pint jars
• water canner
• small pot
• mojito
• paper towel
• tongs
• *fork
• jar lifter
• funnel

First, make your spaghetti sauce. It doesn't really matter what recipe you use. You can either peel the tomatoes by blanching them quickly then plunging them in cold water, or you can use a medieval torture device known as a Victorio strainer. They also have electric strainers but these don't require the same amount of effort and so there is less satisfaction in the process. Also, people tend to be more impressed knowing you cranked through 75 pounds of tomatoes by hand.

Many people insist on removing seeds from tomatoes because they say it imparts a bitter taste to the sauce. I had the foresight and wisdom to marry a chef and he assures me this is nonsense. However, his answer is not entirely reliable because he gave it to me after I asked him, rather indelicately, if I really had 35 more pounds of tomatoes to strain(gle).

Regardless, make your sauce and keep it simmering on the stove. Fill your canner with water and start it boiling. Run your jars and rims through the dishwasher just before you start canning so the jars will be hot. Place the lids in a small saucepan and put it on low heat--don't let it boil. Place a dishtowel on the counter and set your hot jars on the towel. Fill the jars with hot sauce using the funnel. Wipe the rim of the jar with a paper towel. Remove a lid using the tongs and set it on the jar, fit the rim and tighten gently. Once you have six jars, place them in the canner and return to a boil. For pint jars process for 30 minutes. For quarts process 35 minutes.

When the jars are done processing remove them with the jar lifter and set them someplace away from a draft or they can crack as they cool. You will hear a satisfying pop as the lids seal.

VOILA!

Here are a few final thoughts on canning:

• Botulism can occur in canning so visit the government's website about how to properly preserve food.
• Save home-canned goods for when company comes over (this is a great way to encourage other woman to have it all.)
• Post pictures of your canned goods on Facebook to keep everyone up to date with your hard work. 
• If the phone rings while you are canning, answer it and then sigh and say, "Ugh, I will have to call you back-- I am canning."
• Always wear an apron so your clothes stay clean. Make sure to get it as filthy as possible. If someone comes to the door, don your apron and say, "Ugh, please excuse my appearance, I am canning."
• *The fork is for poking your eyes out after looking at tomatoes for 8 hours.

 Have fun and keep the mojitos rolling! And remember...

"If you don't have it all, your just not trying hard enough!"